Horror Movie Month Updates...

So each October I attempt to watch 1 horror movie a day.  That's a lot.  Some how this year I have already surpassed 31 movies, mostly thanks to Netflix. Clearly, I am not one of the 800,000+ who have dropped their services. Most of the movies I have watched are crappy 80's horror, some Dario Argento (DA), and I got into some Vincent Price (VP) recently as well.  A recap so far...

• Dracula (Bela Lugosi)
• Jenifer (DA)
• Buried (questionable horror movie, I know)
• Deadtime Stories (Romero)
• Last Man on Earth (VP)
• House on Haunted Hill (VP)
• Evil Dead (Romero)
• Survival of the Dead (Romero)
• The Masque of the Red Death (VP)
• Tomb of Ligeia (VP)
• Mad House (VP)
• Tales of Terror (VP)
• Comedy of Terrors (VP)
• The Bat (VP)
• Theater of Blood (VP)
• The Gore Gore Girls
• Puppet Master
• Lo
• Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
• Organizm
• Inferno (DA)
• Night of the Comet
• Cronos
• Prince of Darkness
• Pit and the Pendulum (VP)
• The Last Exorcism
• Deep Red (DA)
• Wax Work
• Wax Work 2
• A Nightmare on Elm Street (New version with Jackie Earle Haley)
• Suicide Girls Must Die
• Giallo (DA)
• An American Haunting
• Shutter
• Paranormal Activity 2
• Pet Semetary
• The Omen (Original with Gregory Peck)
• Puppet Master II
• Warlock
• The Ward

Up that is a list of 40 so far.  There is more to come including Warlock: The Armageddon, Warlock 3: The End of Innocence, Children of the Corn, The Wicker Man (with Nic Cage), Poltergeist II, Poltergeist III, and wrapping the whole thing up on Halloween with two version of Nosferatu.  The original with Max Schreck and then the Gothic Industrial Remix version of Nosferatu with an updated soundtrack to the original film.  There will probably be a couple other films as well in the mix.  I am actually considering seeing PA3 in theaters based on some reviews.  I typically wait a few weeks before I see movies in the theaters anymore, but this one may be worth it.

Seen any good horror movies that you would like to recommend?  Let me know, and I will check it out if I have not already seen it.  In addition, check out my top ten Horror Movie List through IMDB along with commentary: http://www.imdb.com/list/VBbMFlna02M/

Until next time...

-Justin

Asinine Lyrics #1 - JLo

I have been forced to take a different direction for a bit in my blog.  I am really struggling with the state of popular music today, especially its lyrics.  Last summer, I wrote a post about listening to the radio.  Now, I am starting up a series of just all out assaults on pop music and why sometimes these songs just make me want to drive my car into a pole.  Below are the lyrics to Jennifer Lopez's On the Floor.  Below that is my commentary.  Enjoy!


[Jennifer Lopez:]
Dance the night away
Live your life and stay out on the floor
Dance the night away
Grab somebody drink a little more
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Tonight we gon' be it on the floor
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Tonight we gon' be it on the floor

I know you gotta clap your hands on the floor
And keep on rocking work it up on the floor
If you're a criminal kill it on the floor
Steal it quick on the floor
On the floor
Don't stop keep it moving put your drinks up
It's getting ill it's getting sick on the floor
We never quit we never rest on the floor
If I ain't rolling I may die on the floor
Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza 
Straight to L.A. New York
Vegas to Africa

Freak it off kick it up
Raise the roof wreck the dancehall
Rip these walls light it up
Make some noise ohhh



I cut out the rap by Pitbull and the various choruses to leave this masterpiece of lyrical writing.  Now I will take a few minutes to explain why I want to puncture my ear drums using sharp metal stakes every time I hear this little ditty on the radio.


The Chorus - It really isn't that bad.  It gets the point across to the listener.  This song is about having fun, dancing, and drinking.  Straightforward.  Some la la la's to get everyone happy.  I mean who doesn't like a good la la la?


Verse 1 - Shit starts getting real wacky here.  I am with JLo on the first two lines.  The next two just baffle me in a way that I struggle to understand.  If you're a criminal kill it on the floor.  Steal it quick on the floor.  Ummm... What the hell is she talking about?  If you're criminal kill it on the floor?  Has anyone ever used that as a phrase before? And then that gem of a line is followed by Steal it quick on the floor.  I give her points for trying to keep the metaphor alive, but come on now.  That is what she decided would be the best way to describe dancing?  Then she follows those lines by severely dating herself through the use of ill and sick.  Hey JLo, I think Tag Team is looking for their lyrics back.  Maybe she can release her next single with the Quad City DJs?  


The last lyrics in this verse is where I absolutely lose my mind when I hear this song.  Please for the love of God, someone give JLo a freaking map.  A geography lesson.  Something.  Let me lay this out for you.  Brazil - South American Country.  Morocco - African Country.  London - European City.  Ibiza - European City.  L.A., NY, Vegas - North American Cities.  Africa - A whole fucking continent.  I hear this and my mind explodes.  I just do not follow the logic.  Country, country, city, city, city, city, city, continent.  WTF?! Why such a haphazard listing of places?  If you say the continent of Africa, isn't it implied that Morocco is a part of that, so why would you list it separately?  Why no Asian or Oceanic representation?  I mean Asia is 30% of Earth's landmass and 60% of the world's population.  How do they not have one city listed?  Flabbergasted.  Yet, America has 3 cities and Morocco is so cool it gets two shot outs.


The Final Snippet - Finally, JLo ends the song with such buffoonery that it is difficult not to laugh.  She suggests completely renovating her dance space through lifting the roof, taking out the walls, adding lighting fixtures, and overall destroying the place.  Well naturally if you remove the walls you are probably screwing things up pretty proper like.  Usually removing walls means the roof will fall and not be raised, counter productive to what she is trying to accomplish.  Plus why would you want to light it up still?  Removing the walls should provide enough natural light into her newly designed dance space.  


She concludes with make some noise ohhh.  Well obviously.  The building is collapsing around you per your request JLo.  I would make some noise too.  It would be along the lines of "Get this fucking wall off of me and why did I come to a club that plays shitty JLo music all night long!?  And then we actually take the lyrics literally to wear we get shitfaced and actually tear the building apart!?"


And with that I conclude this week's segment of asinine lyrics.


Until next time...


-Justin

Quick Updates....

So just some quick hits to keep you all coming back (hopefully)...

• My stint as Interim Director is almost over.  What I learned most: interim status don't mean a damn thing but more work and less sanity.
• I have managed to successfully shed 20 pounds and have kept the weight off.  No Jenny Craig to thank, but big ups to Weight Watchers.  I doubted their system for years, but it does work.  I don't count points anymore.  Just eat what I did on the system and work out regularly.  Another 20 pounds is in the future.
• My brother is out here now and his dog is cute but a bit of a terror.  Tallulah James clearly has not been properly trained to live in an environment for long periods of time.  She also likes to eat other dog's shit.  It is disgusting and I am not pulling it out of her mouth.  Shhhh.... don't tell him.  
• My West coast life might be coming to a halt a bit sooner than I initially anticipated.  I could be giving up one coast for the other, again, but with a sunnier disposition on the horizon.  

I know that there is a lot of innuendo in that last statement.  I guess you will just have to come back to see what I am talking about and what is happening.

Until next time...

-Justin

White People are F*cking Crazy: Take 2

This is going back in time a little bit, but I still think it is pertinent.  White people do a lot of crazy shit.  Seriously, we are so bored with our normal lives that we literally think of stupidest shit we can and convince ourselves that it is a the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Typically these hysterics revolve around alcohol.  Case in point: BYOBW 2011.  BYOBW stands for Bring Your Own Big Wheel.  That's right.  Mostly grown people race big wheels down a giant windy road and hope to make it down on their makeshift rides made for 6-10 year olds half of their size.

BYOBW took place on Easter Sunday because you know what better way to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ?  Oh I know.  A bunch of f*cking crazy white people get plastered and race plastic vehicles down a hill over and over again.  I will admit watching this event was probably one of the funniest things I have witnessed on the West Coast.  People really got into it with coordinating outfits and costumes.  The Easter Bunny made a guest appearance with his bunny body guards.  Lots of the people were dressed in fun and kid friendly costumes.  There was nothing overly revealing on the women or the men.  Compared to Bay to Breakers, BYOBW was calm.

BYOBW was much more kid friendly than naked people running the streets of San Francisco as what happened with B2B.  Even the overall alcohol consumption was much, much less, as well as the overall participation.  I would say little over 1000 people were probably in the area racing and spectating.  There were some spectacular crashes and good sportsmanship.  It was just one of those events that you had to shake your head and say, "What crazy ass white person came up with this?!"

Until next time...

-Justin

White People Are F*cking Crazy!!

Today was the 100th anniversary of Bay to Breakers.  It is an event where people run/walk from the San Francisco Bay to the Pacific Ocean.  It is hosted by zazzle and is a legitimate race for many dedicated runners.  However, for tens of thousands of others, it is just another excuse to dress up, get shitfaced, and act like idiots in public.  Oh, and did I forget to mention the rampant nudity throughout the race too.  Yeah, there is plenty of that as well.

Ali and I woke up around 9:30 a.m. to check out this San Francisco "tradition."  We figured we would catch the tail end of the festivities, but we were mistaken.  We weren't quite sure what to expect once we got to the race barrier but had a pretty good idea as we were walking towards the Panhandle.  We passed quite a few drunks and people dressed up in various costumes.  As we got closer to the park, more and more stumbling folks started to blanket our section of Masonic Avenue.  Many were shuffling around like a horde of zombies, whereas others were just outright belligerent, screaming at the top of their lungs.  We finally arrived at the barrier and were blown away by what we saw. (Photos at the bottom.)

For over an hour, a constant stream of people came strolling down Fell.  About 95% of those participating were dressed up in some type of costume.  It was almost like a spring version of Halloween.  Some participants were quite creative, and others were just downright scary.  As I said before, there were clearly people who decided that their birthday suit was enough to wear today.  I wish they thought differently this morning.  I was blinded numerous times by body parts that I did not want to see.  Black Swan was also quite the popular costume for walkers, and this was amongst the men and women.  I am also pretty sure that I saw more spandex today than there ever was in the entire 1980's.  Unfortunately, many of the people wearing it should not have been.  I mean why would you want to go 7.5 miles with a leotard crammed firmly up your ass?  That goes for men and women.  Not to mention the amount of camel toe that was on display for the short amount of time I was observing the madness.  Plus there were some women walking the course in heels.  Not only are you intoxicated, but a 12k in heels.  Come on now.  Just not smart.

There definitely were some creative costumes.  One which being the Oregon Trail.  We even got to watch them circle the wagons.  I found Waldo lots of times as well.  Angry Birds attacked some evil pigs.  A Human Car Wash was another interesting concept.  We saw some giant decorated boobs, lots of painted faces, and numerous other creations.

If I had to guess, I would say around 80% of the people walking had consumed some type of alcohol before and/or during their walk.  The police in our area alone confiscated tons of booze.  I would say they dumped about 4 30-packs, at least a box of wine, and probably 6 fifths of hard liquor.  Quite honestly, I wished that the cops would let those drinking booze alone and do something about the nudists walking the course.

Unfortunately, white people and lots of booze does not always mix.  There were a few times that my residence life background started to kick in.  A young man dressed up as Santa Claus was unable to walk under his own accord and was struggling even when two friends were trying to help carry him.  He needed medical attention immediately as he seemed to be in the .25-.30 BAC range.  He was not the only one at this point, as I saw quite a few people wipe out in my hour of observing.  I am surprised that more people are not hurt/injured/hospitalized from this event.  As of writing this, the only real injury reported was some one breaking their shin jumping the barrier.  I can only imagine the aftermath tomorrow.  This is definitely not a day that I would want to be a SFPD officer.

In all, I need to repeat the title of this post, WHITE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING CRAZY!!  Not everyone participating was white, but this is one of those events, that only could be concocted by crazy ass white people.  Who else would combine a 12k with tons of booze, costumes, and debauchery?

Until next time...

-Sipes

Making Some Weight Changes...

So this past weekend I judged a lip syncing competition, and on the way home I decided that I wanted to get back in shape.  I am not quite sure how the whole revelation came to pass, and don't really care to be honest.  Something flipped and that is all that I know.

I decided to start doing the Weight Watchers plan and so far so good.  It has only been a couple of days, and it isn't all that bad.  The toughest piece has been the portion control aspect.  I am used to just eating until I am full without really considering portion sizes.  I have not really had to change much about how I eat luckily.  I have just cut out some of the junk and supplemented it with vegetables and fruits.  I am drinking more water and decreasing the amount of other liquids I consume.

The other thing that I have taken up recently is yoga.  I will never make fun of anyone who does yoga ever again.  I honestly thought yoga was a joke until I did it myself.  Holy shit was I wrong.  Yoga was some of the toughest crap I have ever done and it was just a beginning class.  Granted, I am quite out of shape compared to my younger days, but I would put yoga up there with just about any workout that I have done before.  Power to those who have been doing yoga regularly.  IT IS TOUGH!!

Overall, in about 36 hours, I have already lost 6 pounds.  It might seem crazy to lose that much so quickly but that is typically what happens when you start cutting weight.  It will normal out after the first week and the body is used to the amount of calories going in and being burnt off.  Plus, my metabolism is working a bit harder now that I am being more active.  The ultimate goal is to get back down to 200 lbs.  It has been a while since I have been there, and it would put me at a healthier weight.

I am giving myself until mid-July to get to my target goal and have a pretty good feeling I am going to make it.

Until next time...

-Justin

Thanksgiving Day Recap...

For the first time in 27 years, I spent Thanksgiving away from family.  It was tough not being around them, and I was definitely not prepared for the "festivities" I experienced.  Initially, I was going to travel to San Diego to spend Thanksgiving with my friend Dan.  He called me about two weeks before Turkey Day to let me know that he may be coming up to SF instead.  I was fine with whatever and he came up to San Fran.  Some of his friends were hosting Thanksgiving in the city so we made our way there instead.

On Thanksgiving morning we prepared our dishes for the 1:00 p.m. "dinner."  I was making a dessert and drink. Dan made some homemade macaroni and cheese.  My two offerings contained alcohol, tuaca to be specific, Dan's dish did not.  I made monkey bread and added tuaca to the glaze that accompanies the pull-apart dessert. I then made an apple cider with tuaca and fresh cut apples soaked in a solution of tuaca and cinnamon.  I also brought a bunch of wine and the elements necessary to make White Russians.

We arrived at Union St. a little after 1:00 p.m. and entered the apartment complex.  We had booze and food in hand.  What I entered is not at all what I expected.  I was expecting there to be some more gays (we are in SF mind you).  Dan was the only one.  Everyone there was newly married, engaged, or hooking up with one another.  Dan and I were some of the first few people to enter the apartment.  We added our alcohol to the already overflowing table and broke out the cider.  I will quote the owner of the apartment Tucker, "It is dangerously delicious!"  The cider went hard!!

I could tell this would not be my typical Thanksgiving dinner with family.  The booze was flowing plentifully and the food was just an after thought.  The turkey and the trimmings were ready around 3:00 p.m., but it is safe to say that almost everyone was intoxicated by that point.  That is right.  All 15 people shit-faced.  3:00 p.m.  People ate but really to just try and soak up alcohol.  A magnum bottle of horrible wine appeared at some point and was ultimately consumed by many of the women present.  This shortly lead to more than turkey breasts being exposed if you know what I mean.  By the way, there is nothing more uncomfortable than having a conversation with a guy while his wife is running around and flashing her tits.  It is just awkward.

The festivities continued on for quite some time.  There was a little bit of a dance party after the coffee table was moved.  The evening pretty much ended with an impromptu food fight that spurned from miscommunication.  I really needed to pee and joined a married couple in the bathroom while they showered with one another.  Not to mention, I learned what an "old-fashioned" was.

All in all a good Thanksgiving.  I hear they have a kick-ass Super Bowl party.  I can only hope that I am invited.

Until next time...

-Justin